This is the season to be jolly.
The holiday season is in full session. This is a time for trimming the tree and buying the perfect gift. Don’t forget the festive holiday dinner. The weekend brings family and friends together for happy times and cheer.
Sadly not everyone is up for the season to be jolly. For some family members are too far away to visit for the season. Some live alone with no family at all. It can be a sad time for many, especially our seniors.
The holidays are a time when family members visit mom and dad and notice they are having more difficulty doing day to day activities at home. They have become frailer. Their memory has decreased. Missing appointments and most likely should not be driving the car anymore.
These can be difficult times for all involved.
For some family members, they may not be aware or understand mom and dad are failing in many aspects of their health and day to day living. Mom and dad may not realize them and say “Oh you’re just silly, we are fine, don’t worry about us.”
If this is the situation at hand what do we do? It is time for a family meeting for those who are on board. That’s OK. A family meeting is Crucial.
If mom and dad are not ready for this turn of events, a meeting between the family members must be in place.
So what are the priorities on the table?
- Failing health, what we have noticed.
- Missing appointments, or not making wellness doctor’s appointments
- Forgot to pay the power bill.
- The house has not been kept up
- Is there spoiled food in the refrigerator.
These are just a few noticeable things while the family is visiting. They have probably been going on for a while. It’s time to talk about it. And have a discussion with mom and dad.
It can be uncomfortable for all, so when approaching the subject it’s important to be calm and begin with little things, for example, I’d see you have a doctor appointment last week How did that go?
Then discussing the importance of wellness checkups and how you go twice a year. You may have more than one discussion. Not to overwhelm with your observances while visiting.
It gives mom and dad time to process the decision once the family has discussed all concerns. Time for a plan of action! And keeping mom and dad is always the best for their quality of life.
Moving out of the home may not always be the best choice.
At this time once the dust has settled. One family member may have to make the choice of staying longer to help get care options in place. So let’s discuss what care needs are a priority to keep mom and dad in their home.
With family members out of state researching home care, provider agencies would be a start. You may call their doctor for a follow up of when they last came for an appointment.
Now keep in mind depending on the overall health of mom and dad you may also need to discuss a power of attorney. It is crucial to know who will make the financial and medical decisions if mom and dad are not able to anymore.
Life is not simple, and life is not a plan!
Once you have interviewed a potential care provider, and a plan of care is in place, and know how many days and hours would be needed the care provider can assist with making appointments, transportation, grocery shopping, meal prep and keeping family members up to date with all activities of dialing living.
One thing for sure is not waiting for a plan of care for your loved one!
For the other seniors that live in our community that live alone in their homes, the holidays can be a sad time. We should be reaching out in your neighborhood to check on our seniors. Let’s consider taking out the trash, bringing a hot meal, or just listening to their stories of past times in their life.
We will all be in our senior years someday or already are. The holiday season is a time to reach out and give, but should not be the only time of the year to help our seniors. Let’s continue to reach out always.
ActiveCare Sacramento